A Practical Joke That Just Keeps on Giving

Folks here in Hawaii – and not just sports fans – are laughing about a practical joke perpetrated by someone within the Honolulu Police Department, an institution not renowned for its sense of humor.

First, however, you need to know that the UH football team is in the middle of a less-than-stellar season. After starting their season with two wins, they have lost six consecutive games, to the consternation of their faithful fans.

At any rate, the cops routinely put out a report of significant cases to the media. This week’s list included the report of an investigation into “a suspicious, unknown white powdery substance” purportedly discovered on the University of Hawaii’s football practice field and noted that the day’s practice had been suspended and the FBI had been called in to investigate.

The report concluded with the following: “After a complete field analysis. The FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.”

Media types were still chuckling over that, when a female “reporter” at a top-rated local radio station – clearly not a sports fan and having no clue anyway – picked up the story, thought it was legitimate news, and breathlessly read it on the air. Her “report” aired several times before anyone noticed and pulled the plug.

Meanwhile, the brass at HPD is not amused and has been trying to find out who initiated the phony story in the first place. Heads will roll … presumably all the way to the goal line.