Guest Blogger Criticizes Amtrak … Really Hard!

Hi, folks!

Jim’s off workin’ on his book and he asked if I would write something ‘bout trains and stick it in here ‘cause he’s too busy.

Well, by golly, I’m happy to help him out and – wouldn’t you know it? – I have a big gripe about Amtrak I been wanting to talk about. I mean they’ve really gone and done it this time. It’s shocking and disturbing, and I’m gonna have to really pray on it before I feel comfortable ridin’ one of them trains again.

See, I pay close attention to whatever it is the Family Research Council says and I try real hard to think the way they want me to think … without thinkin’ too much about whether or not that’s a good idea … or not.

Anyways, the Family Research Council has found out that Amtrak has started to advertise in magazines and newspapers that are read by – ‘scuse me for speaking frankly here – gays and lesbians! I mean, if those ads work, I could find myself on a train actually sitting next to one of … them. Yes, actually!

While I’m thinkin’ about it, it’d be a good idea if those God-fearing folks at the FRC got on Amtrak’s case about some of the other anti-American groups we don’t want ridin’ our trains. I mean, they better not be advertising to no Muslims! Or Hindus, neither … or whoever it is that wears them turbines on their heads. And no atheists. There’s lots of other weirdos, too. How about vegetarians, especially vegans? I mean, everybody knows they’re weird.

Well, I could go on and on about this, but I gotta go. Time for church.

Your friend,

Charlie

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